


Killing me softly

by Ahslover



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Courage, Eventual Romance, F/F, Hilda is angry, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-02 21:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahslover/pseuds/Ahslover
Summary: „I’m your older sister Hilda. It’s my Satan given right to kill you as many times as I pleased.”Hilda confronts Zelda about her being always so mean to her. Zelda is hurting. Some angsty stuff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this is my first fic, I just happened to discover this pairing and loved it. I hope you like it. Aimed as a Oneshot, but maybe I'll continue. If inspiration kicks :) I would really appreciate comments.

„I’m your older sister Hilda. It’s my Satan given right to kill you as many times as I pleased.”

Hilda’s heart sank at hearing these words muttered by her sister. By now she thought she should be used to this. She does something, it annoys her sister and she simply kills her. Just like that. As if throwing the trash out. As if it were nothing. She just buries her in the yard and continues with her daily routine, as if nothing had happened.  
It had been so many years -even centuries- by now that it is like this between the two of them. She should really already be used to this. But it still stings. The second her lungs fill with air again it stings.  
And just now she was as hurt as the first time it happened.  
Hilda tried to muster up as much courage as possible. She straightened her back and lifted up her chin just a little bit. She was well aware of how messy she must be looking right now. With all the mud and blood on her clothes. But it still couldn’t hurt to at least try to act as graceful and confident as possible, despite her current wardrobe situation.  
Walking towards her sister she inhaled deeply, trying to calm her nerves.  
“It still doesn’t explain why you do it.”, Hilda’s heart hammers in her chest, she is well aware that Zelda might just lose her temper and kill her again. 

Right here, right now. Without even thinking about it. But the pathetic part is, that Hilda still wants to know, truly wants to know if her sister really hates her that much. Just the thought of it could make Hilda break out in tears. Pathetic. Just pathetic. She thinks to herself. Having these thoughts right after being resurrected from the dead, because her sister killed her. And she still seeks her approval, her love… that’s probably why Zelda has never respected her… nor will ever.  
Hilda looks up catching her sisters eye. The other witch simply rolls her eyes and turns around to walk away. Watching her sister just walk away from her gives Hilda’s heart another little fracture. She can feel it in her insides. Hilda inhales shakily and closes her eyes. She will probably never get an answer, never truly understand her sister, nor know what she feels.

“For Satan’s sake, Hilda, would you just come inside now? Quit being so dramatic.”, she hears her sisters voice calling over her shoulder. She sounds annoyed with her.  
And in that moment Hilda feels herself flaring up with anger. Zelda killed her not so many hours ago and has the audacity to be annoyed with her?  
She exhales and stomps into the house following the older witch.  
She reached Zelda in their shared bedroom, but Zelda didn’t even care to look at her.

“Really Hilda? You’re still all dirty, why do you have to b…”

“Cut it Zelda, you still owe me an answer. For all these years I have accepted that obviously I am such a heavy burden to live with, that you just couldn’t help but lash out sometimes like that, but I am done with it now.”, Hilda almost yelled.

Zelda turned around, she didn’t say a word, too stunned by her sisters outburst. Hilda NEVER dared standing up to her or demanded being treated with respect. Seeing the anger and hurt in Hilda’s eyes made her heart sink a bit. Despite what anyone thought she did care about Hilda. She was just very good at hiding that. Oh and how did she care!

It filled her with pride seeing Hilda standing up for herself, but it also brought other unwanted feelings to resurface… So Zelda did what she always had done. She tried to play it cool and just rolled her eyes.  
Which seemed to outrage the other witch even more, she proceeded to walk closer to Zelda.

“Now, don’t you dare just look at me annoyed. I deserve at least an answer. I will not be pushed around by you anymore. I am worthy of being treated with respect, just as anybody in this house and I am done being denied by you. Tell me, by Satan, what could be so awful about me, that you feel you need to kill me, without me doing anything wrong? “, Hilda felt her heart beating impossibly fast, she heard it pumping really loud, she wondered if Zelda could hear it too. 

Hilda was pleased with herself, her anger gave her power, courage… but she was just as surprised by it as her elder sister. By now she was standing mere centimetres away from Zelda, she looked her straight in the eye, but then her sister closed her eyes. She clenched her fists as if trying to retain from doing something… probably killing her again, thought Hilda. But then she just sit on the bed.

Zelda couldn’t bear being so near her sister. Hilda was too close and if she didn’t watch out she might just do something they both will regret, and Zelda wasn’t thinking about killing Hilda again. That.. That was hardly something. It could be undone, so far Hilda has always come back from the dead, which Zelda is very grateful for. She couldn’t even think about living without the younger witch. That would be… it would be just pointless. Though the sweet pain Zelda felt every day when seeing Hilda, that was still better than no Hilda. Even if she knew she was torturing herself by still living together with her, for Satan’s sake, sharing a room with her, still that was better than no Hilda. Like this she could at least quietly suffer and enjoy her agony, she could watch her in the night, telling herself she just did that because of her ever so present insomnia. She wasn’t purposely staying up to do that, of course not. That would be just sick! And sometimes she almost believed her own lies, but now, right now. With Hilda standing in front of her demanding to be respected, demanding answers for her cruelty over the past years. She feared she wouldn’t be able to keep up the façade for any longer. And it scared her, because if she let something slip, there might just be a chance of Hilda looking at her with disgust, packing her stuff and never even think about her again. It was clear to Zelda from the moment she realised her forbidden thoughts about her sister, that she had to do something. And keeping her at bay by being cruel to her, Hilda still seeking approval and admiring her sister, even if she was always a bit frightened by her, was definitely better than giving in to her impulses and just ruining everything. Her relationship with not only her sister but her whole family, because even if they were witches, and prayed to Satan, there were still some taboos.

Zelda is still convinced it is easier for her to be forgiven for killing her sister multiple times than admitting the motives behind her actions. She laid down in her bed and closed her eyes, hoping Hilda would give up and just go wash herself. 

But Hilda had other plans. She grabbed Zelda by her shoulders and stood her up. Now they were eye to eye again.  
“What on earth is wrong with you, that you can’t even answer a simple question?”, Hilda hissed at her, the fire in her eyes still burning.  
That’s it. Zelda thought to herself. Their faces were inches apart and Zelda had no chance to pull away, Hilda’s grip was very strong around her shoulders and she was looking intently at her.  
Zelda now knew she couldn’t hold back any more, so she just gave in.  
Her face moved forward and closed the little gap between the two witches. She pressed her lips against Hilda’s and she immediately felt a rush of adrenaline pump through her. It was a short and light kiss. No tongue, but also no peck. Zelda still tasted the earth on Hilda’s lips. After a few seconds, that felt like hours Zelda pulled away again and looked her sister in the eye.  
Hilda looked at her dumbfounded. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it eventually since no words came out.  
“Well, are you happy now?”, Zelda whispered, shame evident in her eyes.  
The younger witch opened her mouth again to speak but she remained silent again.  
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”, answered Zelda. She tried to keep her voice steady and void of any emotion but failed miserably. Then she laid down again in her bed and turned around so her sister wouldn’t see the lone tear, that escaped her eye.


	2. Hilda's suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda is not sure of what to think of the insident with Zelda.   
> Anger gets the better of her again, but things dont turn out hte way she imagined...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here another chapter. I hope it is okay, it was something that just occured to me, so I wrote it down.

Hilda just turned around and left the bedroom. She made her way to the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Did that actually happen? Or did she imagine it? Hilda didn’t trust her memory any more…  
She stripped off her clothes and let them fall to the ground, not caring about the mess she made. She has always been a bit messy. Sure as hell messier than her sister Zelda, who always had to have everything neatly folded and stored away. On the other hand Zelda loved messing with other peoples feelings, and that’s obviously worse than some clothes on the floor. At least Hilda thought.  
As the warm water hit her cold body Hilda shivered. She looked at the ground and saw the mud and blood being washed away. Hilda inhaled deeply and thought about what had happened. She touched her lips memorizing how her sister’s felt against her own.  
Now she was sure.  
She wasn’t just imagining it.  
Zelda indeed had kissed her, but instead of joy like she always had imagined, Hilda felt anger and sadness. How dare Zelda kill her and then disrespect her again, by mocking her this way. But worse. How did Zelda know, that Hilda had all these forbidden feelings for her sister? Angrily scrubbing herself up Hilda kept on thinking how to confront her sister properly about this delicate subject.  
Satan! Why would she joke about something this serious and mock her? Normally she’s the one wanting to act accordingly to the Dark Lords will, and not wanting to disappoint him. Zelda must really despise her if she is willing to bring shame upon her only to laugh about her afterwards. Though she must admit, that her sister really is aiming at the right spot and she is feeling a completely new kind of disappointment and heartache because of all this. 

Zelda heard the door of her bedroom being pushed open quietly. She didn’t dare turn around to look at her sister, but the smell of floral shampoo invaded her nostrils. She deeply inhaled. It smelled like Home.  
All of a sudden her blanked was wrenched from her. She turned around and looked up. She saw a frown on her sisters face, that made sense… her frowning, but Hilda being so aggressive confused her. Zelda had been almost certain that Hilda would be deeply shocked about their kiss and would just pretend it never happened. Zelda would have preferred that as well. It would have been easier. So much easier. It wasn’t like Hilda to dwell on it.  
Hilda’s face had hardened in anger, and Zelda almost didn’t recognize her. It was so unusual to see he features like this. The older witch sat up and braced herself for being yelled at again, or being killed. She tried to maintain an straight face, maybe if she acted as if there was nothing to talk about she could avoid talking about the incident.  
“What is it, sister?”, she sneered.  
Hilda was astonished at how her sister could go back to normal in no time, but it enraged her even more. After the shower she thought she had already calmed down, but Zelda now acting as if nothing had happened… she felt vindicated in her suspicions about Zelda playing a cruel game with her. And before she even knew it she heard a loud slap and felt her hand tingle.  
Zelda immediately covered her burning cheek with one hand. Hilda could see the mark her hand had left on her sisters cheek. A bit of relief washed through Hilda’s body, never ever had she dared to do something like this.  
Zelda still looked at her, stunned.  
Then Hilda said calmly :”I know, to you my life is just a joke. But that…”, she stopped and inhaled deeply “That was just cruel… Even for you, sister.”  
Zelda noticed, her sister’s voice sounded dangerous, but hurt and strangled at the same time. She looked down at the floor, ashamed.  
“I know.”, she admitted “I should have never done that. I should have just suppressed it. It was very selfish to load that burden on you I…”  
“Zelda, what are you talking about?! You can stop now, I know you’re just making fun of me.”, Hilda interrupted her.  
“I… what?”  
“Now don’t act as if I am a fool. I may be a bit naïve at times, but this game you want to play with me, that just goes to far. I know I am sick, and disgusting and horrible. You don’t have to do your little tricks and then blow it all up in my face.”, the younger witch whispered.  
“You think this is me harrowing you?”, Zelda asked, genuinely confused. She was hurt her sister thought she would do such a horrible thing, and play like this with her, but on the other side she did do that. She had done similar things in the past. She really couldn’t blame her.  
Hilda was already slowly turning away from her.  
“Just go back to bed, Zelda.”, the younger sister whispered in a defeated tone.  
Zelda was wrestling with herself. She couldn’t bear it, hearing Hilda so hurt right now. She was trying to resist the urge to grab her sister’s hand, but did it anyway.  
“I am not.”, she breathed into the dark. Neither Hilda nor Zelda moved. The air thick with tension. Both could feel it.  
“I am not mocking you.”, Zelda repeated, a bit louder this time. And she tugged at Hilda’s hand while standing up herself.  
Hilda found herself now just a few inches away from her sister, she stared into her eyes. She could see shame and fear, but also excitement. The younger witch figured Zelda must see the same in her face. Her breath came out in short puffs. All her anger completely forgotten, because it made sense now. It all made sense now. All the harsh words thrown her way, all of the killings. Zelda was trying to keep her as far away as possible, but also close though. Not very healthy cope mechanisms, she must admit, but really there was nothing healthy about this situation. Zelda’s stare fell upon her sister’s full lips, and Hilda unconsciously licked them.  
Zelda’s face was moving forward, always coming closer, little by little.  
“We shouldn’t, do this.”, Hilda then whispered into the dark.  
“You don’t want it?”  
“No, I do. But it’s not right…”  
“We are witches… we fucking pray to Satan and have given him our souls for Satan’s sake.”, Zelda murmured. She felt it too, she knew she shouldn’t be doing this. Hilda is her little sister for Satan’s sake, but she just couldn’t help herself right now. She would only stop if Hilda told her to. Her lips still hovered over her sister’s, she was waiting for the okay.  
“You’re right.”, Hilda answered. She was tired of always holding back and playing by the rules, she also wasn’t a hundred percent sure Zelda wasn’t still playing her, but she decided it was worth it. Even if it was just for tonight, she would allow herself to enjoy this moment. Even if it was all she was going to get, she would take it and treasure it. So she pushed all the shame and the guilt and the doubts away and finally crashed their lips together.


	3. Lovers by night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda and Hilda take the next step. Both have thought About it for so Long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know if there will be a next chapter yet. But I hope this one suffices for now.

Zelda grabbed her by her hips and pulled her closer. Her sister’s wet hair tickled her neck. Zelda marvelled in the sensation. She enjoyed Hilda’s full lips on her, though the kiss was a bit messy. She assumed her sister probably didn’t get the opportunity to kiss someone very often.   
Zelda pushed the thought away. People were idiots for not seeing Hilda’s worth. On the other hand it was to her advantage that she didn’t have to compete with someone for her sister’s affection.   
Zelda decided to lead the way, she gently brushed her tongue over the younger witch’s bottom lip. Hilda happily granted her entrance.

The younger sister felt Zelda’s tongue in her mouth, gently massaging her own tongue. She opened her eyes. It was somehow weird having her sister so closed, pressed up against her. But she figured she liked the feeling. How Zelda’s left hand held her firmly on the waist, the other hand in her neck. She closed her eyes again and enjoyed feeling Zelda’s body being so close to hers. Suddenly she got aware of how little clothing she was wearing… actually it was just a gown, thrown on in a rush to get back to her room and confront Zelda. She smirked a little, that kind of comes in handy now, she thought, and instantly got a shade of red darker. God what her sister did to her thoughts, normally she didn’t get so flustered. Zelda must have felt the heat rising to Hilda’s cheeks, she gently interrupted the kiss pulled back a bit looking at her intently. Hilda looked a bit confused, had she done something wrong? Or did Zelda notice she actually wasn’t that into this? She started to nervously wring her hands.

But Zelda just looked at her. She looked amused, which irritated Hilda even more.

“You’re nervous.”, Zelda stated with a smirk.  
Hilda rolled her eyes and sat on the edge of her bed, still wringing her hands.  
“Well… well yes.”, she confirmed.  
Zelda’s features softened and she sat down quietly beside her, taking her sister’s hands in hers’.   
They sat like this for a bit of time. Neither of them saying anything. Till Zelda decided to put an end to this. She turned to look at The younger witch. She searched Hilda’s eyes in the dark.

“You know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want. I don’t want to…”, Zelda said, but was interrupted by Hilda.  
“You think I am not sure?”, the younger Spellman witch snorted “Satan, if I weren’t I wouldn’t have started this.”  
She looked into Zelda’s eyes searching for any indication she didn’t want this, but found only genuine concern. It made her heart warm. She rarely saw her sister’s concern being directed at herself, so she tried to memorise the look in her sister’s eyes, so she could remember this moment for ever. Then she took one of Zelda’s hands and put it on her thigh and caressed her sister’s cheek.

“I do want you.”, she admitted “I just never thought you’d want me back.”  
The tremble in Hilda’s voice at her last admission made Zelda tear up a bit. She couldn’t remember all the times she must have made her sister feel unwanted and so unloved… She didn’t know what to say, Zelda was never good at words, never good at comforting people by talking to them, but she knew what that a gentle touch could make anyone feel better. She knew from herself, and the lovers she has had. If it could make her feel better and less lonely, she was sure she could do something for her sister. So she captured Hilda’s lips for another time.  
Hilda willingly accepted the kiss, the courage in her growing she let one hand wander on Zelda’s body. Resting it on her waist.   
Zelda decided to test the waters a bit and unknotted Hilda’s gown. Her sister shivered a little by the fresh air hitting her hot skin. She inched closer to the older witch guiding her hands, encouraging her to touch her body. Zelda exhaled, she buried her face in her sister’s neck and kissed the soft flesh. Pushing her younger sister softly back onto the bed and climbing on top of her, she felt her heartbeat quicken. She felt sweaty fingers fumbling with her nightgown. Breaking the kiss for the littlelest of time, she pulled her nightgown over her head, revealing her smooth porcelain skin and left Hilda in awe for a moment, before she was captured by Zelda’s lips again.   
Hilda wanted to admire her sister’s beauty for hours but had to settle for exploring her witch her hands, oh well she wouldn’t complain about it. Had she not dreamt about this for ages? She had.   
The older witch felt the familiar sweaty finger glide over her back, down to her ass. She was surprised when she felt her sister give it a little squeeze, but it only turned her on more. She sighed. Her own hands travelled down to Hilda’s chest. Zelda let them glide over her sister’s breasts, massaged them gently. Then she went further down, and replaced her hands with her mouth. Kissing and sucking gently. Grazing her teeth over her erect nipples.   
Hilda moaned quietly, and Zelda found she liked the sound of it. Liked it even more when she realized, it was because of her and that she was the only one who has ever heard it, the only one who it was directed at. She bit a bit harder, but soothed the pain with her tongue. It surely would leave a mark, and that is exactly what she wanted. She wanted to mark her sister as hers’, that’s what she always had wanted. It earned her another whimper from her sister.  
Hilda was really hard trying to not be that pathetic, not to whelp, whimper and moan that much when her sister was really only touching her a bit, it would be exactly what Zelda would make fun of, but she couldn’t help herself, it just felt sooo good. Her stomach was in knots, she felt the arousal everywhere in her body. The heat and wetness between her legs also being a huge indicator of how turned on she really was. This was better than any of her saucy novels, better than anything she ever expected.

Another whimper. Hilda felt Zelda travel further down her body, she was resting between her legs and looking up at her, making eye contact. Her stare was so intense, Hilda couldn’t handle it. But when Zelda lowered herself and came face to face with her wet center, and drew her first line on Hilda’s slit, she knew THAT was intense. Hilda thought she might fly, at least it felt like it. She squirmed and moaned under her sister’s touch.  
“Hell!”, she exclaimed.  
Zelda went on and hummed, encouraged by the younger woman’s cries.  
She drew circles around Hilda’s swollen clit, steady and slowly so the other woman had enough time to enjoy the sensation before slowly inserting a finger into Hilda.  
“Oh, unholy Lord! Shit… Zeld…”  
Zelda slowly withdraw her finger a bit, then reentered Hilda again, establishing a slow rhythm. Hilda tried to meet her sister halfway, still whimpering. Zelda was already starting to worry if Hilda was enjoying this or if she was hurting, but before she could say anything Hilda started talking again.  
“Please, more…”, she whispered. So Zelda paced up the rhythm a bit, still licking and sucking at her sister’s clit. She already felt her walls tighten a bit around her finger, she knew it wouldn’t take much longer. So she decided to add another finger, which made Hilda gasp in surprise.  
“Oh, dear Dark Lord! Don’t stop…”  
Picking up the pace a bit more Zelda felt sweat pearls form on her forehead. She felt Hilda tighten more around her fingers, gasping for air. Desperately clinging on to her.  
Hilda came cussing and gasping for air, shaking on the mattress below her sister.  
She has never, ever felt something like this. Never even dreamed of it. She didn’t even know people could feel this light, but at the same time tight, it was like burning and flying and the best piece of chocolate cake you ever have known all at the same time. It was flooding her senses, and she couldn’t do anything but lie on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, just trying to get a hold of herself again.  
Zelda crawled up to her and laid down beside her.   
When Hilda felt she could talk again she turned to look at her. Hilda’s cheeks sere still reddened and her eyes glazed.

“That was…”, but she didn’t end the sentence.

“I know.”, Zelda answered and gave her a peck on the lips. They laid like this for a while till Hilda started to feel selfconscious.   
With this tall, slender beauty beside her, who wouldn’t right? So she sat up and tried to fetch her gown.

“What are you doing?”, Zelda asked, trying to get her to lie down again.

“I’m just covering up.”, the younger witch replied shyly.

Zelda recognized the look in her sister’s eyes. She had seen it many times, most of the time when she had just humiliated her sister or mocked her in some other ways… often because of her chubby appearance or her choice of clothes. She knew she had a fair share of inflicting that damage and she hated herself for it. 

Before Hilda could snatch her gown Zelda had already pulled her back into her arms and kissed her shoulder.

“Don’t.”, she whispered “Just lay with me for a little while?”  
Zelda’s voice sounded so tender and gentle, if she wouldn’t lie beside her, Hilda would have not believed it was her sister speaking. Nevertheless it warmed her heart.


End file.
